Leninade

My husband and I walked through downtown Frederick today. We were walking past the "Pop Shop" where he happened to glance into the window at a display of historic/classic glass-bottled soft drinks. After we passed he asked me "Did you see that?" So of course we went back to look.

When I saw it I had to go in and see if they were really selling them. They were, and I consider it $2 very well spent. I can't wait to take it to class and show my economics students. Hopefully they'll be entertained as much as I am! (Or at least a little bit, since I fully realize I'm showing my dorkiness here...)

I'm not a good enough photographer to get a picture of every slogan written on the bottle, so here they are:
"Leninade: A taste worth standing in line for!"
"Get really hammered & sickled!" (It's just soda, honest!)
"Join the party!"
"Drink comrade! Drink! It's this or the gulag!"
"A party in every bottle!"
"Surprisingly satisfying simply Soviet style soda."
Something in Russian...
"Beware the repressed Communist Party animal who is really a proletarian in denial masquerading as a bourgeois Cold War monger!"
"Our 5-Year Plan: Drink a bottle a day for five years and become a Hero of Socialist Flavor."
 "Misha, chill down this bottle & chill out!"
"Imagine all the soda."

The Postmodern Lord's Prayer

Our celestial parent of unspecified gender, hallowed by thy name (but not so hallowed that thou can pass judgment on us; that would be intolerant of thee).  Thy gender-neutral royal administration of the world come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, or Valhalla, or wherever it is that we go after we die.  Give us this day our daily organic tofu.  And forgive us our unintentional indiscretions, for we didn't really mean it and who are you to judge us anyway?  And lead us not to be tempted to judge our neighbor, but deliver us from intolerance.  For ours is the power and the glory forever, for we can do anything if we just work together and accept one another as we are.  Amen.